Shalom Zocher, Vachtnacht and Bris
- what a couple of days!

The Shalom Zachor was a success, B"H. People came who I don't even know, which was a good sign. At it's peak, the guests numbered about 20 men. Of course people came and went and it was difficult to guage the total number of visitors. At one point we only had one person, which was nice because I could give him personal attention, rather than have to divide my time up between numerous people simultaneously.

Rav Kornberg, of the Gra, was one of our first visitors. He stayed a good 15 minutes (apparently there was another Shalom Zocher, a tisch for him to attend and his Friday night chavrussa). He gave over some Torah, speaking about Tu B'Shvat and its meaning. He sat at the head of the table and all eyes were turned to him. I was impressed that he came, considering we know eachother by sight only.

Rav Rubanowitz came during the rush hour and it was unfortunate that I couldn't sit with him for a longer time. He brought his two boys and his wife also came to sit with the ladies. Leah really likes her, which pleases me. Rav Rubanowitz gave over a very nice vort, asking why on Tu B'Shvat we do not have trees and bushes and branches around - why do we eat fruit? If it is a festival for trees we should have trees around. The answer is that you can judge a tree by its fruit. If the tree gives off juicy, succulent fruit, you know the tree is good. He blessed me saying that he knows my kids are good kids and that this therefore means the parents are good parents. He said that he hoped that the new (as yet nameless) child will follow in the footsteps of the parents. He held my hand the whole time and I could tell that he really meant what he said.

Rabbi Stawski - ahh, our Chassidishe neighbour from downstairs - what would a Sholem Zocher be like without him??? Rav Stawski walked in and immediately the room seemed brighter than before. He threw up his arms, hugged me and gave me a big Mazel Tov. He shook my hand furiously and blessed a thousand blessings on our family. Then he demanded to see the baby. I brought him in and he threw his hands up again in delight. The Rav then lay his hands on the baby's head and gave him a bracha - he said it silently and with a smile on his face. Then he asked all the kids in the room to gather around. All the men stood up and gathered around, too. The Rav began a melodious rendition of Shema Yisrael with everyone joining in. We all then sung HaMalach HaGoel. Rav Stawski stayed for only a few minutes longer, enough time to shake a few people's hands, eat some arbes and then he left, leaving a certain glow in the room.

People came and people went all night. Just when we thought it was over at about 10.30, another few people turned up and there I was, serving cake again. Oh the cake. I didn't mention the cake...On Friday morning I looked in the fridge and felt that we didn't have enough cake so I went to the supermarket and picked up another cake, along with other shopping for Shabbos. When I got back I found that our friends and neighbours had each baked a cake, biscuits and pastries for the Shalom Zachor. We had so much cake left over that we are still struggling to finish it off - such is our lot.

In any case, we had put away most of the chairs (borrowed from the Stawskis) and tables when there was a knock on the door - about 15 Yeshiva students arrived, did a quick survey of the dining room, decided that we had put away too much of the cake to make the stay worth thier while and left. The only other knock on the door was the Rabbi's son who returned to collect a coat he left behind. We were zonked by the end of it.

On Motzei Shabbos the neighbours from upstairs came for a visit with their kids for Vachtnacht - the night before the bris. They sort of tried to say Shema and sing Hamalach Hagoel, but they were all shy. We gave them pekalach, anyway! Anton played the guitar and created a very haimishe atmosphere. After the neighbours left, Anton picked up the pace and we all danced around to various Carlebach niggunim. Anton, the kids, Leah, her parents and I had a ball.

The Bris was scheduled to take place at 10.00 in the dining hall of the Lev HaTorah Yeshivah. I davened at a Netz minyan so that I could pack as much panicking into my morning before the bris. The Rav checked the baby on the Friday and said that all is OK to go ahead with the bris on the Sunday. He also mentioned to me that perhaps I would like to actually do the Milah. Suffice it to say that I did not jump at the opportunity and I told him that I'd think about it. Well, when I met the Rav at the hall before the Bris, I told him I wanted to give it a go. He was surprised that I wanted to take him up on the offer as I didn't sound too eager when he first asked me and he gave me a quick lesson in how to cut and what to do etc. I practiced on a piece of paper first but, as one of the witty by-standers commented, paper doesn't bleed...

Never the less, back to the Bris preparations, 10.00 came and went and the food still hadn't arrived. Leah was to get a lift to the hall with our neighbours but I didn't see her show up. Little did I know she was preparing the baby in a side room. We were busy putting plastic table cloths on the tables when the food finally came and, in true Israeli style, the guests helped to set up. People were streaming in and the Ladies' section was filling fast. There didn't seem to be as many men, but we had a larger area so it could have been deceptive. I was beginning to wonder whether or not I had catered for enough people.

Unfortunately, due to the shape of the room and the position of the tables, the area that the bris was to be held was at the furthest point from the Ladies and behind a pillar. Not the most comfortable, but it had to do. In Israel when the baby is brought in, the father says the first line of Shema [congregation responds in kind] followed by Hashem Hoshia Na x2 and Hashem Hatzlicha Na x2, like in Hallel - this isn't done for britot outside of Israel. Tamara and Yehudda Nissen were our Kvatter and Kvatterin (bringing the baby from the mother to the father). There was a slight delay after I said Shema etc as they had forgotten the pillow! - the Rabbi did a great fill-in job of explaining the reason behind Kissei Shel Eliyahu (the tribe of Ephraim [I think] once decided to stop perofrming the mitzvah of Bris Millah so Eliyahu rebuked them. They threatened to kill him and he ran away. He called out to Hashem that he had put his life on the line for the sanctification of His name and Hashem promised him that he will be invited to every Bris from now on!) Once the pillow was located, Yaakov Radonsky (husband of Rivka, Leah's friend) had the kibbud of placing the baby on Kisei Shel Eliyahu. Anton had the honour of picking the baby up from the chair. Leah's father was the Sundek. The Rav set up the baby for me and I perforned the mitzvah of Bris millah on my own son. It was very thrilling. I didn't feel sick or queasy and, no, I didn't faint. Rabbi Rubanowitz told me that I did a very good job and he asked if I was an artist as he thinks I have steady hands. He also wanted to know if I took training to be a doctor at some stage - he said many mohelim are those who wanted to be doctors but for religious purposes didn't finish their training! I told him that it seems as if the mohel industry is a cut-throat business (ergh!) Rabbi Rubanowitz also gave me the scalpel in case I needed to do corrections on my handiwork...just kidding...he gave me the scalpel, attached to his business card, as a momento. The Rav bandaged up the baby so that we could get on with the naming. Rav Stawski was mechubad with naming the baby and Binyomin Simmons held the baby during the naming. When it came time for me to tell Rav Stawski the name I made sure that I said it clearly. I heard of a story where the person naming the baby didn't hear the name properly and he had to ask a few times for the father to repeat the name. When he finally got it right, the father said "Bingo!" and the person naming the baby said, "Dovid Shlomo Bingo ben Yitzchak"! Rav Stawski read the name and associated brachos with such concentration you could tell that he had his entire soul in it. We are going to try and call the baby by his full name Akiva Meir, rather than Akiva or a diminutive form of Akiva (although I sometimes can't help myself calling him Akivaleh!)

Following the Bris there was dancing, instigated by our own Bresslover Chassid Anton Morris, while we finished putting food on plates. Many of the women left immediately after the Bris and there was enough room for people to sit. Rabbi Rubanowitz gave a drasha - the bris was on Tes Zayin Shevat - the day after Tu Bishvat. He spoke about how the Orlah for fruit had a deadline of Tes Zayin Shevat and he compared it to the Orlah of a bris. To be honest, I was not concentrating very hard on the drasha so I didn't really follow it properly. I spoke next (the text of my speech is below) and then Shmuel (Eric) Davis gave an impromptu speech as well. He said some very kind words. Two ladies from work turned up, which was nice, and I think everyone had a good time. At least the food was hot and not half bad, either.

The Benching was lead by an acquaintance from the Gra with the various Harachamans shared around and we were all done by 12.00. It took a while to pack up afterwards and get the place in order. Leah, Ben and kids came back to our place with us for a few hours. Akiva Meir slept a lot (and continues to do so). The Rav has come back twice since the bris to check up on the baby and we have the thumbs up that he is doing well, B"H.

I am falling asleep in my chair now, so I think I'll go to bed...

Best Regards to all,

Yossi

===============================================

I would like to begin by expressing a public Hakaros HaTov to
Hakadosh Baruch Hu for four wonderful gifts in the form of my beautiful
children - our bundles of Naches. There are a number of people who
have been so good in helping us out over the past week or so to whom I
would also like to say thank-you. Firstly to my dear parents-in-law who
are visiting from overseas. Leah’s parents have been an invaluable
source of emotional support have done so much for our family during
their stay. My parents, who unfortunately had to return to Melbourne
two weeks ago, were a wonderful support for us while they were here
and remain so, albeit several thousand kilometers away. Rabbi
Rubanowitz, who has been my rock during some difficult times, was
always on hand to answer my many questions and I thank him profusely
for his advice and probably above all, his patience. Thanks is also due
to numerous friends and relatives who provided all forms of assistance
to Leah and myself during the long pregnancy. Additionally, I would like
to thank our wonderful neighbors - upstairs, downstairs, across and in
every direction - for, among other things, saving us when major
appliances failed at critical times! And to all of those who assisted with
putting this simcha together, thank you thank you thank you.

I guess at a simcha such as this people are curious to know how we
chose the baby’s name. Choosing a baby’s name is not pashut and it
took us a while to decide on it. Our first stop was the parsha. We took a
look in the parsha, took a look at the baby’s face and decided that the
name Par’oh wasn’t suitable and we decided to search for a name
elsewhere.

Akiva Meir...

Akiva: after Rebbi Akiva, the great Torah sage, possibly one of the
greatest Torah sages of all time. Rebbi Akiva is famous for having
begun his Jewish education at the age of 40 and through sheer
persistence, emunah, courage and self sacrifice built himself up to
become a Gadol for all generations. This is the type of person Leah and
I would like our son to become - one who is committed, has yiras
shomaim, emunah and determination to fulfill his potential in this world.
If I had any doubt about whether we had chosen the correct name or
not, I had a simman the night after the baby was born that we should
name our son Akiva. I took a taxi from Shaarei Tzedek to Center One
and the driver was telling me that his father had passed away not long
ago at the age of 94. He began talking about his father who, it turns out,
was a talmid chocham. At the age of 80 his father opened up a small
Kiruv Yeshiva for mature age students. When his son, the taxi driver,
asked him why he was starting such a project at this age, his father
answered that it is never too late - if Rebbi Akiva could start learning
Torah at a late age and reach such a high level, I can start a Yeshiva
and bring some people closer to Hashem even at my age. That settled
it. The kid’s name was going to be Akiva.

Meir, my son’s second name, means to shine forth. It is very easy to
make a connection between the significance of Akiva and the light of
Torah shining forth, but that is not the primary reason why we chose the
name. We are calling our son Meir after Rabbi Meir Rabi, of Melbourne
Australia. Rabbi Meir Rabi made a profound impact on our lives and
continues to be not only a learned Rav, but also a friend, confidant and
councillor with whom I feel a special kesher. I do not want to elaborate
further, but suffice it to say that we have a deep affection for him and
are honored to be given the opportunity to name our son after him.

Now for a bit of drush. We read in last week’s parsha about yetzias
Mitzrayim. The Yidden finally tore off the shackles of slavery and left
Egypt as a free nation. However, they still had one last run-in with
Par’oh and his army. With their backs to the sea and the Egyptians fast
approaching they cried out and Hashem performed the nes of and
kriyas Yam Suf. At that moment, the Bnei Yisrael elevated themselves
to a higher spiritual level. They sang shira and rose to another level yet
again, slowly slowly moving closer and closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
The Rav of my former shule in Melbourne, Rabbi Yehuda Kohn, likes to
take the Roshei Teivos of a name and turn it into a bracha for the
parents. I have tried to do the same on some occasions, although Rabbi
Kohn really is the expert. But I’ll try it again here, too. My son’s name is
Akiva Meir ben Yoseph Matisyahu - Aleph Mem Beis Yud Mem.
Together it makes the two words: Am B’Yam - nation in the sea. We
hope that Akiva Meir’s name sakes - Rebbi Akiva who worked his way
up the spiritual ladder to greatness and Rabbi Meir Rabi, whose
learning and warm personality has helped us to achieve higher levels
should be a segula for him to be like the Am B’Yam - nation in the sea -
rising up and up and up reaching great heights of Torah learning, to be
a true mench and be a source of naches for his siblings, parents and
grandparents. Amen Amen Amen.